Seriously, we've tried all of the mundane ideas, and yet they've led America to the precarious position that we are in today. Isn't it time for us to try electing a magical elf and his magestic supporter? I hereby withdraw my support for Obama and Fred, and put my full weight behind Kucinich. There are unsubstantiated reports that he has some 'special' beans that will solve all of the world's ills as well!
Bush's abandonment of the conservative principle has really opened up our options. I'm even thinking of becoming one of those things on the left. We're crashing and burning anyway, so why not join the Democrats and blame someone else for our problems?
Face it, if you are having troubles, it's not your fault. It's all the fault of the neo-cons, or corporations, or the evil drug companies that keep us alive longer! Can't you see it? It's all so clear!
For these reasons and more, I have become a Democrat (i.e. donkey butt). To be fair, I'm still only thinking about it. But even if it costs me my wife (she's against it), it would be great to blame some nebulous group for all of my problems. I won't have to be responsible ever again! This sounds like win-win. Wive's are a pain anyway.
Unrelated update: We had a family reunion this weekend, and it was nothing but fun.
That is our family photo. I'm the guy in the back. I don't like to brag, but this house was built by my grandfather, my Dad, and myself. To be fair, my Dad and grandfather built the house in the 60s/70s, and I built a closet in one of the kid's rooms in 1995. My father disagrees, but I call it a group effort.
And don't call our family fat! We blame, uh, whatever group the Democrats are currently whining about. Those b*st*rds made us eat too much! There were no low-cal choices on the menu! Jenny Craig shut down. The Surgeon General determined that non-meat products were bad for our health. All of the vegetables went bad, so we had to eat fried food... IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!
In the future, please refer to me as 'hippie liberal'. Blaming someone else for my faults is fun.
Unrelated Update II, 'cept it's related to the previous unrelated update. Other than that... unrelated: Here's what our back porch looks like, sans people. Arrows added for your edification.
Also, the Red Velvet cake was tasty.
Update III: I am LOOOOOOOADED down with coconut creme pie, chocolate creme pie, and blackberry cobbler (it's like a pie, but it visually requests ice cream). So no calls please. I'm busy fattening.
Edit: I pulled the story about my cousin, in case someone finds out who she is and tries to hit her up for money. Not likely, but I'd hate to be the cause of something like that.