Mohammed ElBaradei Offers Israel a Carrot

Mohammed ElBaradei, the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) promised today that he would resign, but only if Israel 'got off their butts and bombed the crap out of Iran's nuclear facilities'. This new added bonus to destroying Iran's nuclear capacity is thought to be enough to put many fence-sitters in the Israeli government into the hawkish camp.

One anonymous cabinet member said, "Perhaps if we picked a new head for the IAEA who's first name wasn't the same as most of the people trying to acquire nuclear bombs for nefarious uses, it could become a useful agency again." Sadly, he was reminded by a colleague that the IAEA has never been useful, other than for people trying to acquire nuclear weapons.

A recent Rasputin poll shows that 100% of bloggers who promote daily toast consumption support a massive Israeli strike.