Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: Some People are Completely Selfish

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Some People are Completely Selfish

This is a picture of Marie Antoinette. She was a queen of France in the late 1700's. She was beheaded by the French! Why? The picture tells it all. It was reported that there was a famine in Algiers, then under French control. Marie immediately set into motion a plan to send two boatloads of freshly made toast to the starving people. Unfortunately, the French are notoriously stingy when it comes to their toast, and did not want to share it with the famine-stricken Algerians. They ransacked Queen Marie-Antoinette's castle, and chopped off her head, rather than part with the delicious toast.

Even more unfortunately, they decided that no one else in Europe should have toast. They proceeded to attack neighboring countries and deny them any access to toast. With the battlecry "Vive la France, et notre pain grillé" (long live France, and our toast), they detroyed many european countries. They were finally defeated by the English in Waterloo (so named because that is where they first to think of putting a sink in the loo (bathroom) with running water). Thus ended the great "Toast Wars" of the early 1800's, bringing to an end the horrible toast-hoarding of the French. Toast was again available to the common man.

I for one am grateful to the English and thank their toast-loving masses often.

Update: I'm getting a lot of emails about the accuracy of my historical information. I'm not completely positive about the details about this war. But I'm relatively sure I depicted it accurately.

Listen to our anthem

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