You know that guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran? After hearing his speeches lately, I have come to the conclusion that he took too much acid in the 70's. I called him up and told him to cool it with the tough-guy rhetoric, and we got to talking about other subjects, and one thing led to another. Long story short, he's been vacationing at my house for the last week.
But I'm going to have to ask him to go home. He's just too strange. The wife said "He goes or I do. I'm sick of him throwing a sheet over me every time I walk by!"
Rather than insult him by asking him to leave, I tried assaulting his senses to get him to go on his own. I figured that since he's a muslim, I'd freak him out with some of the crazy stuff in America that we call entertainment. Maybe going to one of those 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' movies where people act out the movie as it plays, and some of them dress as girls would do the trick? Nope! 5 minutes after we got there, he disappeared, and re-emerged looking like this!
And if you make him angry, he says things like 'blam!', 'kaplow!', or 'boom!' until you stop talking. That's just plain unnerving.
UPDATE: Well, he finally left, but I don't feel good about it. Here's the card he left me on the guest bed.
UPDATE II: Some of this information might be 'ahead of the news cycle'.