Boycott!

Friends, I hope you will all join me in boycotting The Olive Garden. Not because of anything they did - they seem like a fine restaurant. Fairly good food at pretty good prices. It's just high-time conservatives got into the boycotting game, and the Olive Garden is a good-sized target for beginners like us to practice on.

If someone asks you why you are boycotting them, mumble something about Sudan or nuclear weapons, then refuse to discuss it further. Remember to wear your angry face. It is the key to successful boycotting. If you are willing to actually protest in front of your local Olive Garden, here are some good protest sign slogans:

-The Olive Garden's soylent green special is only 60% people! The rest is filler!
-You can't hug your children with nuclear olive gardens!
-The racist Olive Garden REFUSES to serve Chinese food!
-Stop killing poor defenseless olives!
-The Olive Garden doesn't provide healthcare for its customers!

Together, we can win this battle.