Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: Everything Solved. Or Not.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Everything Solved. Or Not.

I've had the week off, so after fixing up the place a bit, I decided to do some deep soul searching and try to determine what's important vs. what's not important, how I can change the world in some small way for the better instead of for the worse, etc.

Guess what? Inner reflection is booooooooring. So I quickly decided, like almost every other person on the planet, that the best way for me to help the world is to come up with better rules for political campaign finances. I know, I know, EVERYBODY who contemplates their reason for being quickly determines it's for "campaign finance reform". But hear me out. These seem like some good rules.

1. Any American citizen is allowed to donate up to $2,000 per year to political entities, spread among candidates of their choice as they see fit. No one can donate more than $2,000 in total.

2. Non-citizens and non humans (corporations, labor unions, etc.) are forbidden from donating to political campaigns.

3. Lobbyists will unfortunately continue to exist, because everyone who talks to a Congressman with the goal of convincing them of their group's plight is kind of a lobbyist. But they will no longer be allowed to spend one thin dime to get that Congressman's attention. No flights, no lunch, no weekend at wherever.

4. Congressmen and their spouses will not be allowed to sit on boards of charities or businesses while in office or running for office, since lobbyists could donate to these groups to curry favor.

5. To vote, you must present ID which has your photo and your thumbprint on it. This thumbprint cannot be used in searches for crimes, but can be used for detection of multiple voting cards. The card must be free to obtain by any citizen. The Federal government should pick up the tab.

So what do you think? Are there holes in this idea? If so, please post them in the comments.

Until then, enjoy this (probably not safe for work, though it's straight from NBC) example of why you should not take drugs in school!

Listen to our anthem

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