Solving Illegal Immigration - All By Myself
The Senate wants to give illegal aliens amnesty, and then possibly tighten up the border a little in a few years time. This is unacceptable, since we cannot assimilate that many people into America at one time. They could not melt into the American pot fast enough, and would form segregated communities much like we are seeing now in California. Not to mention the effect that allowing people to break the law has on people breaking our other laws. The Senate seems completely unwilling to fix the problem.
So I've got a plan. I am going to be the newest Senator from Louisiana. I'm not going to bother following the law by getting people to vote me in, I'm just assuming the role. When enough people join me in becoming illegal Senators, we can get the legal ones to pass a bill to give us amnesty. We'd have to pay a $2,000 fine, but then we'd become legal Senators. We'd probably have majority status too!
Unfortunately, since announcing my new position in the Senate yesterday, I have already been attacked for it. Moveon.org set up a protest outside my house, complete with protest signs, and Cindy Sheehan is on her way over to join them. Oh well, doing good work is never easy.