Hurricanes are all Jerks

Here's the latest track the computer models have come up with for Hurricane Jerk (that's probably not its real name):


Hey, guess where we live?
I'm fine with a 3-4 day vacation in Houston or Shreveport, LA, (or Galveston, if we're daring, which we're not) and then coming back and picking up a half-ton of debris and hauling it to the dump. What I'm NOT fine with is people whining about it and begging for the government to save us as if we didn't know we lived in an area that is often ravaged by hurricanes.

Oh, and I'm also not fine with this hurricane knocking down our second crop of corn. My neighbor said two (garden) crops in one season couldn't be done, and if I don't deliver a bushel to his door, it's going to cost me a $25 bet. And we're SOOOO close!


This is particularly bad because this hurricane is named 'Gustav' which could be a french name. I've said a lot of bad things about the french, so this hurricane could be gunning for us. In the hopes that we can find peace, I take back half of the bad things I've said about the french. Think that'll fizzle out Gustav?