Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: Put it on my Resume

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Put it on my Resume

Hoping I might score a cushy job at the New York Times, I tried to get a scoop while I was in Tikrit. I interviewed Corporal Skip Johnson. Here's an exerpt:

Me: So, how are things going in Iraq?

Skip: Good so far. We're winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqis, slowly but steadily. Most of them now see that we are only here to establish order, and will happily leave as soon as the violence stops.

Me: That's great! On the flip-side, is anything bad going on?

Skip: Well, we're still not fully equipped to handle terrorists at our new headquarters at 301 West Mohammed Drive in downtown Tikrit. Armor and weapons won't arrive for two more weeks, so I guess that's a bad thing... Say, you're not going to print that, are you?

Me: Well, it is in the public interest...

Skip: What!?! Reporting that could cause the death of hundreds of Americans working there! Printing that would be signing their death warrants!

Me: Public interest! Gotta go...

All in all it was a very good interview. I'll post the rest of it later, after I sift through the data.

Update: Sadly, the new headquarters building in Tikrit has been destroyed by mortars. It is unclear how the terrorists found out about the place. Still, it's pretty obvious that it's Bush's fault.

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