Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: What happened to Ann?

Monday, December 12, 2005

What happened to Ann?

I love Ann Coulter (a popular cooking show hostess in the states) and pretty much agree with the things she says. But something has changed about her lately. I heard that she had started the Atkins Diet. The diet is low-carbohydrate, and toast is not allowed.

I tried to explain to Dr. Atkins before he passed away that the toasting process removes all carbohydrates from bread, and therefore should be allowed on the diet. Before having me escorted out of the building by two security guards, he had the audacity to question my scientific study. Imagine that! The man has no toast-related degrees at all (I have 2) and yet he was questioning my knowledge of the subject.

That's water under the bridge though. What is not water under the bridge is the effect Dr. Atkins is having on Ann. I tuned into her cooking show the other day (on CookingNBC), and it was clear that the lack of toast in her diet had affected her mind.

Everyone knows that the first step in the progression of insanity is piercings, tattoos and weird hair color. You learn that in Psych101. If she doesn't get toast soon, there is only one possible outcome. Hippification. Please sign my off-line petition asking Ann to eat some toast. Otherwise, she will become a hippie for sure.

(Using hue/saturation layer, tattoo tutorial here. I could not get the face patch on the hippie to blend well. Rather than say it's because I haven't figured out how to do it yet, I'm going to blame society. It's Society's fault!)

Listen to our anthem

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