Deep Thoughts - By Jack Handey

●When a little child asks me where rain comes from, I like to tell him it's because God is crying. And when he asks me why God is crying, I like to tell him, "It's probably because of something you did."

●It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

●I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

●If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

●I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”