Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: Cause Diem

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Cause Diem

I've been visiting websites by PETA, Code Pink, the ACLU and others. I think they are on to something. Having a cause = money. It doesn't really matter how crazy the cause is, as long as you are passionate about it. I just filled up my gas tank, so I’m in dire need of some money.

So here's my cause. Mouthwash. I'm against it. Did you know that mouthwash contains ethanol that could be used to power our cars, create electricity, and end our dependence upon foreign oil? The green food coloring in the mint flavored variety could be used to color dying trees to return them to their former glory. Instead, it’s made into a product that goes in your mouth only to be spit out a few seconds later. I feel that I must speak out against such a disgusting waste of our resources. It also contains a lot of water. Aren’t we running out of that stuff? I think Greenpeace says we are. Or it may be Amnesty International. I’m getting my causes confused.

Please support this cause. Together, we can end mouthwash in our lifetime. Please send cash donations to help us put an end to this heinous waste of our resources. Put your cash in the mailbox with a note saying, “Send to Blogagog.” It will get here. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Update: I've decided to go on a tofu only* fast until my demand for complete removal of moutwash from store shelves is met. Maybe someone will take notice as my body quickly becomes emaciated.

* A "tofu only" fast is one where you only don't eat tofu. Everything else is ok.

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