Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: I Bought my Daughter a Pistol (or: Women - I Really Don't Understand Them)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I Bought my Daughter a Pistol (or: Women - I Really Don't Understand Them)

I'm of the opinion that young women should be in charge of their own lives. They should carry their own protection in the event that protection becomes necessary. No, I'm not talking about sex you perv, I'm talking about guns!
My daughter just had a birthday, and is now old enough to drive. So (unbeknownst to my wife) my wife and I bought her a gun. I taught her how to use it, took her to the shooting range, and practiced her accuracy. A .357 is a LOUD pistol, but she's used to it now. I've never fired a .45, but I can't imagine it being much more powerful, and certainly not any louder. A .357 will stop a rapist in a flash (and a bang), and that's really all I'm concerned about. She fully understands the dangers of having a weapon, and is now very clear on how and when to use/flash it. We decided she should keep it in her glove compartment (legal in Louisiana) so it would always be available to her when she's alone.

I should mention at this point that my wife is not a fan of guns. She buys into that 'weapons hurt the owner more often than the criminal' bs, so we additionally agreed not to discuss this present with 'Mom'. So where did my mistake lie? Insurance cards! They also go in the glove compartment of vehicles, and mothers will sometimes put new insurance cards in their daughter's cars.

Imagine my surprise when my wife comes storming into the room yelling, "Stacey has a #!%&# gun in her @#$%!^ glove compartment! Did you have anything to do with this?" Now, as most men know, lying to your wife will always come back and bite you in the rear. So, I went with the truth. "Honey, I'm not going to lie to you", I said, and was fully ready to let the matter drop, so I went back to what I was doing. Apparently, she wanted more info than that (Women, huh?). After a few moments of silence when it became clear that I wasn't offering up any more information on the subject, she let loose with a tirade involving more !@#^%#^ and #@%&$ words than I could fit into any post.

Long story short, Stacey doesn't have a gun in her glove compartment anymore. But if you mess with her, you'll find out where she keeps it. Don't tell Mom.

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