Sister doesn't eat enough toast
My sister called me this morning via webcam. She was acting hysterical, screaming that aliens had given her some mutating drug or something. I suggested she calm down and have a piece of toast, and she went ballistic! "Not everything can be solved with toast, you $@^&*@!@#& moron!"
I took a webcam snapshot of her as she was talking. I am a part-time non-degreed psychiatrist, so I wanted to study her facial features to see what was really going on. Notice in the picture how her mouth has no hint of a smile? That tells me she's not happy. You can learn a lot from a picture. Don't feel bad if you didn't notice it; it takes a lot of practice to understand faces well enough to make a call like this one.
So my original diagnosis was correct. She needs toast. You cannot be unhappy while eating toast; it's a scientifically proven fact. If anyone is up in NJ, please give my sister a piece of toast. It will put the smile right back on her face where it belongs.
UPDATE: The problem has been resolved. My brother and mother were visiting and brought her some toast. Her smile is back!