Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: December 2007

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Pledge Drive

After researching greenhouse designs all weekend, the local Home Depot informs me that the materials required to make my 50'x80' dream greenhouse will cost $4,781, not the ~$2,000 I guessed in an earlier post. I don't even have the $2k, much less $4,781, so it's time to ask the viewers of this blog for help. I have started a new non-profit organization, and hope you will donate to it.

We haven't set up a Paypal system yet. Until we do, make checks out to the Center for Agricultural Serendipity in Hothouses (C.A.S.H.) and send them to the address below:

Thanks in advance!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Europe’s Anti-Americanism

Always been there, always will.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Watch What You Ask For

It seems a lot easier to choose presents for other people for Christmas than to tell people what I want. The main thing I want is to find someone who will dig our pond (the land is ready) and parts for a greenhouse which will cost ~$2,000, money we don't have at the moment.

So when the the wife asked me what I wanted, I said, "A big wad of cash". Guess what I got!

Sadly, it only adds up to $83, but I look rich. And that's what counts, right?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I'm Famous!

My modeling career has finally taken off. Check it out. If you're wondering which one is me, it's simple. I'm the good looking one.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Burkas Cause Rickets

Yet another reason to ban them. Or at least get the Surgeon General involved.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Marriage Humor

I heard this on the Bob and Tom show five or six years ago. It's pretty funny, but I wish they wouldn't canvas every song they did with fake laughter.

Compressing Video

The first thing you need is Virtualdub. Unzip it and you're done. It's ready to run. Next, download the k-lite codec pack. This is a big pile of audio and video compression/decompression algorithms that you'll need to make your file smaller.

Once you've downloaded it, install it. While installing it, you will be given the option of which parts to install. Choose "Profile 5, lots of stuff".

Then click 'next' until you get to the page called 'Select additional tasks'. Uncheck the box shown in the picture below, or it will change the media player you use on your computer to watch videos, which is annoying.

Click 'next' until it starts installing. You don't need to configure any of the things on that last page of the installation, or at least I didn't find any benefit to doing so.

Ok, now to the compressing part! Open virtualdub, and have it open the video file.

Assuming you didn't get an error message, pull down the 'video' menu and choose 'compression'.

In that long list, scroll all the way down to the bottom and choose 'xvid' as your compression type. No need to configure it, as the defaults are just about perfect for a youtube upload. click 'ok'.

Ok, we've set it up so that your video will be compressed, but not your audio. That may be enough compression by itself since video is the biggest part by far, but just to make sure let's tell it to compress the audio too.

Pull down the audio menu, and choose 'full processing mode'. Pull it down again, and choose 'compression'.

I typically use '128kbps CBR lame mp3' because it's fairly small and doesn't degrade sound quality enough for my ears to catch it. You might decide to use a different one in the future, but for now, go with that one.

Finally, tell virtualdub to compress it! Choose a new filename, or you'll overwrite (and destroy) your original video.

It takes a while to compress, but you should end up with a file that is ~5-20 megabytes, which you can then upload to youtube. Good luck! If you have any trouble, make a note in the comments section and I'll respond by sending you a youtube email-thing.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Why I Hate Environmentalists - Part Infinity +1

What is the best thing that could ever happen to the ocean nearest your home? Simple. It might become infested with Alaskan King Crab. They are easily the tastiest thing to come out of the sea. Catching one of these things is like catching 8 lobster all at once (one lobster for each leg).

Yet, when the Alaskan King Crab found it's way to Norway and the Bering Sea, purposely put there by the USSR decades ago btw, the environmentalists immediately started worrying that it would destroy the local ecosystem. No actual examples of the destruction, just worries about the possibility of it.

Here I am, thinking how wonderful it would be that the price might drop because of this ample new supply, so we can eat king crabs more than once or twice a year. At the same time environmentalists are worrying that the oceans are going to stop producing any food at all because of it. Years have passed since introduction, since expansion, and since initial harvesting. No known damage so far. But they're still whining about it.

What's the deal? Are ecoscuzzballs so afraid of change that even positive change is bad in their eyes? I'm beginning to think that if fat wild cows started showing up near towns of starving Africans, environmentalists would try to get them exterminated rather than let the locals eat them, citing the unnaturalness of cows roaming the plains.

Screw you, envirohippie. And pass the clarified butter. And some toast.

Clarification: I'm not talking about snow crabs. They're very good too, but king crab is in an entirely different league. If you've never had it, waste $30 on a pound of it. If you like any food from the sea at all, you'll be hooked.

Listen to our anthem

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