Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: May 2007

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Bad Sign

A picture is worth a thousand words. Well, most of the time. Not this one:

UPDATE: I called the French Embassy to find out what it means. It was just another example of the language barrier. It means 'don't run with scissors'.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Elfen Magic

Seriously, we've tried all of the mundane ideas, and yet they've led America to the precarious position that we are in today. Isn't it time for us to try electing a magical elf and his magestic supporter? I hereby withdraw my support for Obama and Fred, and put my full weight behind Kucinich. There are unsubstantiated reports that he has some 'special' beans that will solve all of the world's ills as well!

Bush's abandonment of the conservative principle has really opened up our options. I'm even thinking of becoming one of those things on the left. We're crashing and burning anyway, so why not join the Democrats and blame someone else for our problems?

Face it, if you are having troubles, it's not your fault. It's all the fault of the neo-cons, or corporations, or the evil drug companies that keep us alive longer! Can't you see it? It's all so clear!

For these reasons and more, I have become a Democrat (i.e. donkey butt). To be fair, I'm still only thinking about it. But even if it costs me my wife (she's against it), it would be great to blame some nebulous group for all of my problems. I won't have to be responsible ever again! This sounds like win-win. Wive's are a pain anyway.


Blogagog (D-Louisiana)

Unrelated update: We had a family reunion this weekend, and it was nothing but fun.

That is our family photo. I'm the guy in the back. I don't like to brag, but this house was built by my grandfather, my Dad, and myself. To be fair, my Dad and grandfather built the house in the 60s/70s, and I built a closet in one of the kid's rooms in 1995. My father disagrees, but I call it a group effort.

And don't call our family fat! We blame, uh, whatever group the Democrats are currently whining about. Those b*st*rds made us eat too much! There were no low-cal choices on the menu! Jenny Craig shut down. The Surgeon General determined that non-meat products were bad for our health. All of the vegetables went bad, so we had to eat fried food... IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!

In the future, please refer to me as 'hippie liberal'. Blaming someone else for my faults is fun.

Unrelated Update II, 'cept it's related to the previous unrelated update. Other than that... unrelated: Here's what our back porch looks like, sans people. Arrows added for your edification.

Also, the Red Velvet cake was tasty.

Update III: I am LOOOOOOOADED down with coconut creme pie, chocolate creme pie, and blackberry cobbler (it's like a pie, but it visually requests ice cream). So no calls please. I'm busy fattening.

Edit: I pulled the story about my cousin, in case someone finds out who she is and tries to hit her up for money. Not likely, but I'd hate to be the cause of something like that.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Not PC.

Which is why I like it. Found at The New Editor.

Mild content warning... he swears a little. He makes a very good point at the end, mentioning that Islam may some day be embarrassed about the terrorism of today, much like the Germans are embarrassed of Nazism. The only problem is that we had to utterly obliterate Nazi Germany before they learned the error of their beliefs. Do we have to obliterate all of Islam to get the same results?

I'm out of here for up to two weeks. We are having a family reunion at our house, so I've got a lot of fixing up to do. Enjoy the week!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Kick it!

This is a few weeks old, but imo, it's timeless. It's mostly a solution to the monster problem we are having here in America, but it applies to terrorism equally well. What do you do when a monster or terrorist enters your domain? Kiss his ask? Heck no!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Reason's Not to Become a Hippie

Subterranian Homesick Blues:

"Don't want to be a bum
You'd better chew gum."

But I hate gum.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

It's funny 'cause it's true!

Best. Cartoon. Ever.

The Case for Interpretive Dance

Ace shows us an interpretive dance depicting the horrors that women have to endure in Durham, NC, now that the innocent rapists have been cleared of all charges. It's lacking something. Music.

But why be so sad and angry that innocent people have been vindicated? With the press of a button on your cd player, the joy and happiness will shine through.

See? It was a dance of peace, love and grace... it was just missing the right background music!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Computer Glitch

Alright, whoever's down arrow on their keyboard is stuck, please fix it. It's making it very hard to read this site.

Update: Heh. Ok it's stopped :).

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Deep Questions

Why is a woman allowed to kill a baby in her womb without giving any explanation whatsoever, but I'm not allowed to kill anyone, even when I explain that it was because 'she gave me sass'?

It just doesn't seem fair.

Dog Lover Humor From the Inbox

Have you ever heard that a dog knows when an earthquake is about to hit?

Have you ever heard that a dog can sense when a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away?

Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia , dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?

Im a firm believer that animals and especially dogs have keen insights into the Truth.

And you cant tell me that dogs cant sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.

Simply said, a good ol hound dog just KNOWS when something isn't right . . . when impending doom is upon us . . .

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Bucky Katt

Get Fuzzy was funny on Sunday (click image for full size):

I had to edit the last word though. Darby Conley accidentally put 'enlightened' in the original, missing the obvious 'lightbulb' joke and the sub-joke that being brainwashed is the opposite of 'enlightened'. Fixed!

You are welcome, Darby.

Listen to our anthem

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