Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: April 2008

Thursday, April 17, 2008


149 Degrees Fahrenheit is just too hot for a computer, especially since I'm only editing an audio clip. Something weird is going on. But never fear, my valiant blogfriends! I have the solution. With merely a judicious use of ice and cold water, I shall quickly resolve this proble ƽ°¦êèèèñ~NO CARRIER

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

'Most Beautiful' Awards

It's time to vote for your choice of who are the most beautiful people in the world. One award for males, and one award for females. Hurry to make your vote count. Vote now!

UPDATE: TOO LATE! We have our winners. For the females, taking fourth place, third place, first runner-up, and winner, is Amy Adams!

Unfortunately there were no votes on the male side, so I'm just going to have to guess:

And my wife says I don't understand women. Well this is proof positive that I do, huh? What a hunk that guy is. Congratulations, Amy and Fred!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Urgent: We Need More Napkins

If you've got 3 minutes to waste, this will make you smile. Unless you disapprove of groups of people spontaneously bursting into song and dance at the local mall, that is.

SPOILER ALERT! At the end of the story, she gets the napkin.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Mark Stein

I love this guy.

Incidentally, if you examine the philosophical underpinnings of Canada's "human rights" "jurisprudence," you're struck by a consistent contempt not just for freedom of expression and the presumption of innocence but also for property rights: it's no surprise that a body that takes unto itself the power to regulate the content of privately owned magazines also assumes with nary a thought that it has the right to hijack its neighbours' computer systems when it needs to construct a false identity.

He makes me ashamed for laughing at Canadians for saying 'aboot', 'chesterfield', 'ottoman', and 'eh'.


Friends, I hope you will all join me in boycotting The Olive Garden. Not because of anything they did - they seem like a fine restaurant. Fairly good food at pretty good prices. It's just high-time conservatives got into the boycotting game, and the Olive Garden is a good-sized target for beginners like us to practice on.

If someone asks you why you are boycotting them, mumble something about Sudan or nuclear weapons, then refuse to discuss it further. Remember to wear your angry face. It is the key to successful boycotting. If you are willing to actually protest in front of your local Olive Garden, here are some good protest sign slogans:

-The Olive Garden's soylent green special is only 60% people! The rest is filler!
-You can't hug your children with nuclear olive gardens!
-The racist Olive Garden REFUSES to serve Chinese food!
-Stop killing poor defenseless olives!
-The Olive Garden doesn't provide healthcare for its customers!

Together, we can win this battle.

Monday, April 07, 2008

A-10 Explains How Bad-Ass It Really Is - Run of the Mill Bad-Asses Cover Their Bad-Asses in Shame

The A-10. Our slowest, yet also deadliest aircraft in the sky, at least to ground forces, today makes a mockery of 'landing gear'. The pilot was quoted as saying, "Wheels?! We don't need no steenking wheels!"

Later in the day it put a hundred rounds into a pigeon just for looking at it funny. Sadly the pigeon did not survive to learn its lesson.

Apologies for saying 'ass' so much. But in fairness, how could you describe the A-10 effectively without saying 'bad-ass' a few times? 'Bad-butt' just doesn't cut it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

For Stargate SG-1 Fans Only

Still too disgusted with politics to discuss them. Vote conservative! Sadly, that means not voting for a presidential candidate. We've already lost, imo, since McCain is about 3% more conservative than Hilary. I'm leaving the whole election up to you guys (and gals) to decide.

So..., this a pretty funny outtake from Stargate SG-1. Remember, the main character played MacGyver on another TV show. He was a guy so inventive that he could make a nuclear bomb out of a potato, provided he had some chapstick and a couple of toothpicks handy. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

McUseless :).

Listen to our anthem

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