Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: March 2008

Monday, March 31, 2008

Amazing Turnabout

Check out the new adornments on the Mecca cube! Again, I'm not very religious, but yeehaw, this is good news indeed!

I know what you're thinking. You're saying to yourself, "Is this a sign that muslims will stop murdering people for the heck of it and rejoin the human race? Or is it some cheesy photoshop job?"

Well thanks a lot for calling my photoshop jobs 'cheesy', ya jerk! I find that horribly insulting. As if all good news has to be some kind of cheesy photoshopped image. Perhaps the jihadis found the light and forsook murdering people for their god. Did you ever think of that? No, I didn't think you did.

But yes, this is just a cheesy photoshopped image. You totally caught me.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


NSFW. I tried to watch it but it appears liveleak has run out of bandwidth. You might have to try later.

UPDATE: Liveleak has since removed Fitna from their servers. The link now shows their apology, which says, "It is a sad day for freedom of speech, but we are unwilling to risk our lives to protect that freedom." Scroll down for the movie on Youtube. (YouTube has removed it as well.)

Robert Spencer on the removal of Fitna by LiveLeak:

I understand their concern for their employees -- sure. The employees didn't sign up for this. But if Americans and Westerners and all people who are threatened by the global jihad and Islamic supremacism aren't willing to give their lives for this cause, then all is lost. Because the jihadists certainly are willing to give their lives for their cause. For them, no price is too high. And if any price is too high for us, then ultimately all we will have to pay is jizya.

LiveLeak's explanation:

You can watch it at Dollard is hosting it locally so there is no chance it will be removed.

I find nothing too impressive about this video. It shows clips that most of us have already seen and explains things we have known about islam for quite some time. I'm only posting it because some muslims want to squelch the West's freedom of speech, and that's not ok with me.

LAST UPDATE: LiveLeak has apparently put the video back up on their site. Good for them. I uploaded a copy to Google Video just in case. YouTube deleted it when I tried them because it was too long.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Jack's in a Corset, Jane is in a Vest

Me honey I'm in a racist rock and roll band.

NSFW! A little bit. Crotch grabbing, and I think he might curse once. It's good news to me when we can make fun of such a scuzzball. I'm still looking for parodies of other scuzzballs like Achmadinijihad and mohamed. You'll know it if I find them.

h/t Gates of Vienna


The Obligatory "Man, Allahpundit says 'the obligatory' alot!" Post

214 post titles. Just sayin'.

Monday, March 24, 2008

For Real

I just got off the phone with a secretary named 'Candy Stowers'. Not sure why, but suddenly I want some gummi bears.

A Tragic Day (With Perspective)

The forecast said the low would be 42 degrees F. So I didn't worry about protecting my 23 tomato, 8 squash, countless potato, and 9 watermelon plants in the garden. It's currently 27 degrees, there's a hard frost on the ground, and all of my plants are dead. I'm crushed. Devastated. Some of those plants have been with me since December. A few of the tomato plants were 3 feet tall and had even set tomatoes already! *Cry* *Moan* *Sob*

Then I read this:

Magdi Allam: "Over the years my spirit has been freed from the obscurantism of an ideology that legitimises lies and deception, violent death that leads to homicide and suicide, blind submission to tyranny"

I realized my troubles are minor. Life sent me lemons today. But to keep it in perspective, remember that life sends billions of people lemons EVERY day. It's so beautiful to watch when one of them escapes from that way of life.

Honestly? I don't even LIKE vegetables. None of them. I just enjoy growing them and giving them away. But the loss of that opportunity is very small potatoes when compared to someone being cured of blind submission to tyranny. It's hard to feel bad for yourself over minor troubles when you read about people tackling almost insurmountable problems. Way to go, Mr. Allam.

Still kind of pissed at the meteorologists at KPLC Lake Charles, LA, though.

GREAT UPDATE: The potato plants seem unperturbed! Apparently, God is slightly less angry with me than I thought he was. The watermelons are each a shriveled pile of necrosis. There is no chance for them. Stop all the clocks, ask not for whom the bell tolls... it tolls for them, sing a song, keep them in your heart, whatever. They're dead. But the tomatoes... only about 50% of the leaves are dead. They might make it! I'm ridiculously happy. So much more than non-gardeners might think. If you have land, but don't have a garden, you are wrong. I can't make it any more clear than that.

Apologies for the 'waaah! cheer! waah! cheer!' style of this post. It was unintentional.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Was Ann Coulter Right?

From Drudge:

Would Christians, Jews, Hindus, Taoists, Atheists, and Buddhists think this is a good thing? Yes, I think they would. It's one more person who's all but guaranteed not to murder in the name of his God. Ann was right. The only solution is to rid these people of their horrid murderous religion, though I'd prefer that he'd do it by the thousands. Only 1 billion to go. Please choose your favorite religion and convert them to it ASAP. Thanks in advance.

That said, Happy Easter! If you are Christian, you are celebrating that today is the day that Jesus snatched up all the good people who'd died and ascended with them into heaven! Woo! If you are Jewish, you are celebrating the passover with the knowledge that those suffering people were days away from being free! Yeehah! Perhaps you are an atheist. Well look around you - it's Spring! The great rebirth! Celebrate as you watch in awe and wonder at the re-greening of your world and wonder at the prospects of what she has left in store for you. Woohoo!

It really doesn't matter what you believe (sans-islam), it's is a great time to be alive right now. Let's celebrate it!

Happy Easter!
Happy Passover!
Happy Spring!
Happy Whatever!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Pick out the Human (from the Inbox)

Answer: The human is the one on the right in all the photos! Don't feel bad if you got some of them wrong. It was a tough test.

Hat Tip to my Sister. She's very cool. FOR A GIRL! (I'm going to pay for that last sentence - trust me.)

Repainting the Kitchen

As if anyone cared, we are repainting the kitchen. I thought it would be ultra-cool to have the walls and ceiling be a vibrant green, and the cabinet doors be jet-black, laid upon metallic gold colored cabinets.

The wife had different ideas. She wanted the walls to be ivory (aka white), the cabinets to be chalk (aka white) and the doors to be eggshell (aka white). How lame is that!? It was at this point that I laid down the law. I explained to her that we would have a bland all-white kitchen some time after my corpse was cold and rotting. Anyway, I've got 14 doors still to paint and reattach, but here's the current state of progress:

Apparently, "the law" was not on my side. White. Sheesh. I'll be honest with you. I'm starting to think that my wife doesn't even WANT to live in a cool bachelor's pad.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My Minister (Obama's flip-side)

For the past 25 years, my minister has been doing his Sunday sermon on how the black man is lazy and simply will not do a day's work for a day's pay. But after 9/11, things changed. Minister Dan changed his sermons to point out that the reason the Twin Towers came down was that black Americans are too weak-minded to fight the threat of islamofascism, and OBL knows it. He attacked us because he knows the black man makes America weak and ripe for takeover.

He also talks often about how wonderful the KKK is.

Now I don't agree with these horrible statements. But as imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. I can no more disown him than I can disown the white community. That's why I've kept going to his church for 25 years and have never tried to change his racist views.

Any of this racist crap sound familiar? I wasn't all that interested in who won the elections up until this point since I despise McCain. But I am now! At least McCain isn't a racist.

UPDATE: For a more poetic view from someone who can actually write, click here.

Barack, this isn’t about generations.

Barack, this isn’t about the black church.

Barack, this is about a pathological minister whose uncontrolled anger wounds his own people and keeps them down.

Barack, this is about a man who ignored that rage for his own political gain and even now won’t admit a huge mistake and looks for nuance and excuses.

Barack, this about a woman who went on scholarship to Princeton and Harvard and still hates America.

Mr. Simon is almost right. It isn't even about the crushing of soul and spirit that comes with your leaders crying victimhood for you, instead of allowing you to face your problems head on. It's about racism. Wright is a racist. Obama is, at least tacitly, a supporter of racism. We can't allow a supporter of racism to live in the White House.

Choosing Your Religion

As a student of the various religions, I offer this primer to help you pick the one that suits you.

Christianity - Jesus is our savior. Accept him into your heart.

Judaism - Moses gave us all the answers. Follow his laws.

Atheism - Whatever, dude.

Hinduism - You will learn what you need to know over many lifetimes. Karma is greater than Darma.

Buddhism - Ohm.

Islam - We just like to blow sh*t up.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Hooker Claims Prostitutes Are Smart. Counts All The Way to Four to Prove it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Why You Can't Trust Women, Episode #294

You know how the ladies are always asking you to tell them your feelings? Well don't do it. After you do, they get all weird, and sometimes just walk out on you. Here's a perfect example. These three men BEAR THEIR SOULS to this woman, and she treats them with what can only be described as utter contempt.

It's not worth it, gents. Keep those feelings hidden.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Change in Direction

I have been informed that my blog is often not 'hip' or 'with it'. So I've decided to start using some slang-words to jazz things up a bit. The content will be the same, but now it will be more 'fresh', and perhaps even 'fly'. Who knows? I might even include some quotes from that Arthur Fonzerelli character that the kids are so enamored with these days. It's going to be off the hook, to the max!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Drudge Went Too Far?

Drudge reports that Hilary Clinton has expressed her feelings about our heroic troops. Disgusting!

I think Drudge overdid it with this one. Is this appropriate? In fairness, I should mention that I didn't read the article, and I may have photoshopped this picture a little. Still, though. Disgusting.

How To Be a Racist

Suggesting that Bush is as stupid as an ape: Not Racist!

Saying Obama is a naive as a monkey: Racist!

Just a head's up for anyone trying to become a racist.

Listen to our anthem

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