Toast, It's not just for breakfast anymore: June 2007

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Note to kids

From the Jawas:

Blasts from the past

Favorite old office related cartoon:

Favorite old rap video at a McDonald's Drive-thru Window:

Dr. Pepper my brother. Another for your mother.

Favorite old Cox & Forkum cartoon (well, 3 DAYS old...)

Death to everybody indeed! Man, I despise that religion.

Rage Boy

Pshoppers, there's an Islamic Rage Boy contest going on!

Check it out. Most of them are hilarious! NSFW :(.

Friday, June 29, 2007


Check out ExistingThing's vid. You have to wait for about a minute before it get's cool, but it picks up from there. Can't decide if it's impressive that he could pull it off, or just funny that someone would do this. Either way, worth checking it out.

UPDATE/WARNING: That video is addictive! I've already watched it ten times. What's worse, I'm starting to like the song now! It might be best if you don't watch it.

Update II: I'm all alone for the whole weekend, and have a huge list of things to do, and yet I'm stuck here in front of the computer singing 'more than ever hour after our work is never over'. I'll never click one of ExistingThing's links again! This is the crack cocaine of videos.

G - Rated

This is pretty cool. Check your blog! I was actually going for 'pg', so in an effort to bump it up to the next level... boobies! They're neat, huh? (h/t Ace)

Up For Adoption

I had to put our daughter up for adoption today. We were playing Chutes and Ladders this morning, and she said, "When I grow up, I'm going to marry you Daddy."

Now I can let a lot of things pass, but no daughter of mine is going to be a polygamist! Not looking forward to telling the wife :(.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Dave at Garfield Ridge Sez:

On a More Serious Note

Take a look at Tieki Rae's column, and the comments. I'm the commentor with the evil Nazi attitude, and expect no one to agree with me (though my position is currently unchanged). It adresses a complicated issue, which Le sums up by saying, "What makes a human life valuable?"

Indeed! What does? My opinion is apparently quite different on this subject than our co-conspirators on the internet. The few friends and family I've discussed this with are also against my opinion.

So what's your opinion? I don't feel like a Nazi, but if I am, I'm willing to change.

On a less serious note, I've written a children's book. It's currently stuck in court over some lawyery thing about 'plagiasm' or something, but expect it in your local book store soon!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


That's all.

Information Overload

Had to go to the office today, but I thought I'd check the blogs to see what's new. We've got the 'rss ticker' extension for Firefox, and it opens a page (well, a tab) for each new post written by our favorite blogs that comes up since you last used your browser.

I went to bed at midnight last night so thought not much would be there. After reading a couple, I was out of time and had to leave. Closing Firefox, I was greeted with this message:

Starting to think we may have overdone it a bit on the RSS list.

Update: Unrelated, but here's a good internet talk radio station. It's got Laura Ingraham 9AM-noon CST!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Who Da Country?

Via Murdoc, who has the full story, another successful 'splosion of an incoming missile. It's a very high-res photo. Click the image to blow it up, and then guess which cool as heck country accomplished this feat. Hint: the arrows point to an item which might give it away.

Seriously, if we didn't have hippies, we'd own this planet by now.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Muslims Angry

This just in: Muslims are angry about something.

UPDATE: The previous anger seems to have subsided. Muslims are now angry about something else. They are being described by locals as 'irate' about this new thing.


Hey, 10,000 people have been alerted to the truth! According to the number of views on utoob. Good job, Glenn Beck! I'm reposting this vid in the hopes I can raise that number to 10,001. 10,002? Nah, that's a pipe dream.

ps - Can't believe this hasn't been deleted, since I put it up three months ago. Is CNN Headline News cool with spreading their message, regardless of the mouthpiece? I say yeeeeehaw! Or, since I'm in La, aaaaaaeeeei!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Islamofascists Support Salman!

Is this true? Are they cheering Salman Rushdie for his courageous departure from a heinous religion that destroys lands, bodies, and souls?

Sadly, no.

Bountiful Gaia

The tomato harvest was so good this year, that we have decided to share!

Just the one though.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

England Is Not Real

After proving that English Muffins are in fact made in New Jersey, Bucky Katt goes on to prove that England is not even a real place, much like Shangri-la, or Camelot.

Don't trust the media, people! They'll even make up a country to confuse you.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

New Movie

Has anyone seen this yet? It's some kind of docudrama where Michael Moore fulfills his lifelong dream of becoming a proctologist. Man, what a sicko.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Surfers Need Not Apply

We went to a very interesting air show today in Las Colinas. The finale included a guy 'riding the wave' on the wing of an F-18f (it wasn't going supersonic... it was just very humid, which caused the vapor plume).

No kidding. I wouldn't lie to you, would I?


Is this how the lines have been redrawn?

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Brit Understates

On takeover of Gaza by Hamas Brit Hume said:

"Nothing good can come from a government run by men in ski masks."

The New Religion

He may be on to something. Global Warming is a heinous problem. Did you know it caused the genocide in Darfur? The head of the U.N. wouldn't lie to us, would he?

I'm starting to warm to this religion. Now, when something goes wrong in my life, no longer do I have to depend on blaming my mother, father, society, the government, big oil, big pharmaceuticals, greedy rich people, insensitive people, offensive people, the Jews, or whitey.

Now I can blame global warming! Check out the list of things (with links) already blamed on global warming (via Tim Blair). Think globally. Blame it on global warming locally.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

How to Forsake Your Country

Let's face it - Bush is right. When he went out to ask typical Americans, they ALL agreed that the amnesty bill was a great idea for America. You don't have to believe me. I've got all of their names, so you can call and ask any of them. They are all for this bill.

I wish Bush could run again so I could help vote him out of office.

Update: Ann Coulter appears to be off the Bush bandwagon too.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Article 2. Section 1

The Constitution of the United States states:

"The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America... he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed, and shall commission all the officers of the United States."

It looks like if a federal law is not being applied, it's the president's fault. Do we really need to reform immigration? Or could we ask Bush to take care that the [current] laws be faithfully executed, as we are paying him to do?

I knew we should have paid him on commission. He's got no incentive now.

Rare Oil Tanker Problem

Don't worry, this hardly ever happens.

H/t Murdoc Online.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Testing Your Smartification (vs. my conspiracies)

Suspicion. It's the only word in the English language that ends in 'cion'. Isn't that weird? I'd say it's suspicious. But before the truthers start finding conspiracies involving the holy letters of the freemasons, C, I, O, and N (they rearranged them to create the word 'coin'! And that's how they control us, with money! Ok, I admit it, I'm not a good conspiracy theorist, but if you believe Bush blew up the Twin Towers to make some money, you might fall for mine too) I should say that there's actually one more English word that ends in 'cion'. Can you guess what it is?

Le says I give too many hints on my quiz posts, so I'll only tell you this. If I remember my grammar right, it's a proper noun, and spanishy. And if no one figures it out, we'll know why. It'll be because they covered it up!

By the way, even if you get the answer right, it won't stop me from my conspiratorial leanings. I'm on to you! The latest conspiracy I've found is that vegetable drink called "V-8". I'm not sure exactly why the Illuminati or the freemasons or BushCo is doing this, but they're trying to convince you to drink condensed Cambell's tomato soup! RAW! And we're buying it.

Again, I've no idea why they do this, but it's probably because they are bored or something. It's like that time I videoed the world heads joking that they could convince people to buy bottled tap water, and pay a dollar a bottle, no less! Turns out they were right! Sadly, I lost the tape :(

Seriously though, take a guess at my other 'cion' word. Man, I hope there isn't more than two. It'll ruin my whole conspiracy theory. But I'll deny it! After all, I'm pro-conspiracy!

UPDATE: It turns out there are more than 2. Both Rex and Tieki Rae have given examples in the comments.

UPDATE II: We have winners!



Le. Guest appearance by Rex.

And DI, our groggiest winner.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Gilad Shalite (and My Own Personal Rant. Sorry. Had to.)

Hey, I'm the #1 rank in searching for Gilad Shalite on Google. Did I spell his name wrong or something? If not, what a travesty for this man. Why has Israel forsaken him?

Update: Oops, it's 'Gilad Shalit'. My bad, but still, why isn't Israel blowing stuff up until he's returned? Let's face facts. He's not coming back alive. Why not make them overpay in loss of life so that they won't consider committing the same act of kidnapping again? I mean 'overpaying' in such a way that there's no doubting it. It's time to bring the hammer down. Israel is a trusted friend, but they are acting like hippies act about GiTMO.

Don't get me wrong. The 'final solution' doesn't involve murdering all palestinians, but it DOES require you to kill enough of them so that their mosques don't preach "kill Israelis" anymore. Israel, when an imam says 'we must kill the jews' at a mosque in Gaza or the West Bank, why aren't you killing him? When a tv station promotes a jihad death, why aren't you blowing it up? Screw international opinion. They're going to hate you anyway. As Nike says, Just Do It. You're doing the entire world a disservice by allowing these scumbags to live.

Again the world is lucky I don't have my finger on the button. Because if I was in charge of Israel, I'd say "Return Gilad and those two men Hezbollah stole who's names I don't know, or the Al Aqsa Mosque is leveled. After that, we'll take out every mosque in Israeli territory. Then we'll start working on our neighbors. Mecca will be first on the list."

(apologies for using the word 'scumbag')

Update2: Allow me to be more clear: I'm advocating telling the kidnappers they have 24 hrs to surrender him, (all three, actually) and if they aren't willing, Israel will flatten 10% of Gaza per day he's not returned. If, after all of Gaza is destroyed (a million dead), he's still not returned, start working on the West Bank. But only 3% per day. The West Bank is much bigger, so it will take more time. To be clear, I'm advocating killing people. A lot of people. Bad people.

Never have I wanted so much to be a Jew (in fact, this is only the second time!). Voting in Israel, I'd say 'barook atta adenoid' (I'm guessing [sic]) to the warriest warrior with my vote. Don't they have carte blanche from the US to do this? Or is Bush screwing us yet again? I don't want people to die, but they need to know that we mean it when we say, "leave the West alone." I'm more than willing to kill ALL of the worst of the worst to prove this, if need be.

And Palestinians are in fact the worst of the worst. Raised on hate. Taught more hate. Told (on national palestinian tv!) that it's a good idea to die killing Jews or Christians. ENOUGH! And that is why I'm ok with the death of possibly millions of palestinians, to make clear how selfish they've been. I'm serious. Millions! Can they be converted from their jihadi views? There's a slim possibility they can. But it's more likely that they'll spread this jihadi disease. Enough with this. Enough with treating women as sub-human. Enough of treating non-believers as 'lessers', or the smart people who've left that religion as 'apostates'. Die now. Don't make us kill you. So we humans can move on.

Your Weekend NSFW

I love to watch people ranting. This one's just a joke, but it's pretty funny, especially if you watch Grey's Anatomy (I don't, yet still found it funny. Does anyone know if Grey's Anatomy is a comedy? If so, I'll get it off the net.) It's only barely NSFW though, in case you want to risk it. No nekked people or outright swearing. There's a bit of discussion about body parts best left unmentioned at work though. You're choice.

Also, apologies for the static up top. I was lazy. Comedy Central will get the vid deleted soon, so it didn't seem like it was worth it to chop it up. Still, I left off tags, so it may stay for a while. The tags getcha.

Update: Viacom said I broke the law, and yanked it :(

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Abortion on the Front Burner

Fine Dry Wit found some interesting news on abortion. Some Senator proposed a bill that would make all abortions legal, but required a 9 month waiting period before the abortion could be performed. Unperturbed by the bill's failure to pass, he proposed a new one.

In general, I stay out of the abortion debate, but this is hilarious. Is 'The Onion' becoming a fun read again?

Too Far?

I flipped to a palestinian station this morning to see what's happening in the peace loving country of Gaza. It was that new show, "Who Wants To Be a Terrorist?".

The guy made it all the way to the end, winning 5 lbs of C4 and a bag of ball bearings! Still, I think they were being lenient. He guessed "B" on the above question, and the judges gave it to him.


I don't like to be racist, but I simply can't abide by angry trees eating lizards. I may be an anti-angry-tree racist! But at some point, people, we've got to take a stand. The following is NSFW if you think trees are friendly, or lizards are good pets.

J/k. It's a very well written flash (click the mouse and roll it up to go forward) with some astounding graphics. The weird part about it is that it's made me realize how unimportant politics really are. Sure, I'll vote for Duncan Hunter, given the chance, Fred, Romney, or Guliani (in ascending order) if not, but it hardly seems to matter now. There are trees eating lizards, people! It's only a matter of time before they figure out that people taste a lot like lizards.

UPDATE: Actually, there are only a few pages of new images, and then they start repeating. But I wish I could draw like that!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

How to Destroy a Child

Angel writes a particularly painful post to read. Painful because these children are being abused so, and also because we in the West are going to have to kill them someday, for the murderous jihadism that has been instilled upon them by their elders. jihadism doesn't wash out.

She doesn't explicitly make the connection, but I do: We have to kill today's islamofascist kids to insure that freedom and civilization exists tomorrow. To make matters worse, we can't kill them now... for cripes sake, who wants to kill a kid!?! There's a slim possibility that a jihadi raised kid will not murder anyone in his life, after all (slim though that possibility may be). No, we have to wait until they kill innocents, and wreck entire families, because (and I mostly agree) it's the only civilized way to handle murderous scumbags.

But how about this idea? We find the parents who are treating their kids as future bombs, and arrest them for child abuse, or just kill them. I'm cool with either option. In fact, I lean to the right of that sentence.


We shouldn't have to fear for our family's lives because some jihadi is raising their kid to be a nail-bomb. But then, neither should the child. Arrest/shoot parents who treat their kids like this. Arrest/shoot imams who suggest that raising a kid in this manner is 'ok'. Again, I'm saying use 'arrest' as a last resort. The other option is imminently preferrable.

The left has us so close to saying that 'raising kids on jihad' and 'treating women like crap' is just muslim religious expression, and therefore protected, and totally copasetic. I'm beyond sickened. The world is lucky I don't have my hand on the 'button' :). Sections of the world would be glowing. But peace would ensue.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

The Jawas are Faking!

The Jawa Report writes about a kid who found the word 'Allah' written in a tomato. That's nothing. I found a picture of him! It's hard to make out, but if you use your imagination, and look at it the right way, I bet you can see the creator of Islam. If you try.

It's right in the center. Keep looking if you don't see it at first. Seeing truth in tomatoes is tricky.

Monday, June 04, 2007

100 Words You Should Know

Houghton Mifflin has published the "100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know". Sadly, though I spent 4 years in school after high school, of those 100 words, I can't use any of these in a sentence:

evanescent (this doesn’t mean 'effervescent', does it?)

Rather than blame myself for my failings, I'll blame the school system! Stoopid school system! It's made tautology the lugubrious pecuniary jejune (of quotidian proportions) that forces us to expurgate the abstemious, yet abjurious moiety. And those evanescent diffidents inculcate to force their deleterious, abstemiously unctuous antebellums on us? Not on my watch, they don't! I reckon.

Hey... guess I CAN use them in a sentence! (Don't get out your dictionary. I already know I used those words wrong :))

update: wrongly.

Listen to our anthem

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